“Heaven’s Gate” proves the “Brooklyn noise-pop trio” is nothing but a cover for a cult


Hold onto your tin-foil hats and hide any young kids and/or impressionable uncles, because have I got a CONSPIRACY THEORY for YOU!

You may be familiar with the “Brooklyn noise-pop trio” known as A Very Special Episode. Maybe you’ve listened to their music or caught them at a show. Perhaps you follow them on bandNada as a fan, call the members friends or have even remixed one of their songs.

Well we regret to inform you, that you have been HAD, hunny. Because what this so-called BAND has been MASQUERADING AS this whole time is not nothing more than a sick, probably satanic cult —

Albeit a very stylish one, crankin’ out pretty sick tunes. BUT A CULT NONETHELESS.

And we have the video evidence to prove it right here:

That’s right. These artists have been LIVING A LIE and we are all PUPPETS in their evil plan to CONVERT THIS COMMUNITY into a bunch of sexy, sunglass-wearing SUCKERS performing IMPECCABLE CHOREOGRAPHY!!! The horror.

Now, a warning: The band is going to try and trick you by claiming this is just “art.” That this piece of work is just based on their “interest” in CULTS. According to the press release (#PROPAGANDA!!!), “this journey of discovery was instigated several years ago by an impactful visit to the parking lot of Scientology’s Los Angeles Celebrity Center and its nearby ‘museum’ dedicated to the alleged evils of psychiatry.”

Kasey Heisler (vocalist/bassist/obvious cult leader) says that the song is “about the need to belong, the search for an in group, and the length’s one may go to find one in spite of the danger and the vulnerability that requires.”

Meanwhile, Patrick Porter (guitarist/vocalist/idk prob cult VP?!) (I haven’t figured out the hierarchy) says adds that “joining a group or organization that’s larger than oneself requires being absorbed into a helpless situation, surrendering one’s entire being to the cause. This can be an intentional decision, the result of intense manipulation, or an ambiguous mix of both.” 

Sounds a little suspicious, no? What were they doing there anyway? Why are they so interested? How do they know so much.

Don’t let the band fool you with this “not a grift” business. Don’t be wooed by Wednesday Addams’s dance moves. Don’t be hypnotized by shiny spinning triangles, waste valuable Verizon minutes calling 607-353-6979 or allow them to suck you in with some promise of “self-discovery.” STAY STRONG!!!!!

That said, they do seem to be having a pretty good time. The song is a little catchy. That red lighting is quite flattering. And, c’mon who doesn’t need a few new friends…

Fuck it, I’m in. AVSE: Just tell me who to make the check out to.

“Heaven’s Gate” is the first track off the forthcoming album from A Very Special Episode, due out later thisyear. For bonus content, check out the lyric video, then come out and drink the Kool-Aid TONIGHT at an “all-Brooklyn noise bonanza” ft. AVSE, Leathered, Shadow Monster and Debbie Dopamine. Tickets available here. <3


Follow the band at @avsepisodeadd their music to your Spotify playlists, buy their music on Bandcamp and find everything AVSE at averyspecialepiso.de!

Video shot by Jen Meller.

Feature image(provided by the band):

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